If you’re like me, the most valuable source of happiness you can possess is the power of your relationships. The amazing feeling of connection to someone who reciprocates your affection enhances every aspect of life. This kind of relationship, when maximized, energizes your inner being and motivates you to healthfully honor your physical body temple.
In a previous issue of Easy Health Options™, I discussed how staying in tune with your innate emotional guidance can make you happy and, therefore, healthy. In particular, you can get motivated to discover new passions in your life by letting your emotional connection to thought be your guide, rather than being enslaved to your beliefs about that thought. Misguided beliefs are simply thoughts you keep thinking. When they are not valid, they obstruct your health and satisfaction.
To understand how your central relationship is influencing your life, mentally rank your relationship status. On scale of 1 to 10 (1 is least, 10 is most), rank your general level of happiness and passion toward each other. Reflect on different experiences you share, such as preparing meals, taking walks, sharing about your day, evenings and bedtime, and awakening together. What level of passion and connection are you creating with your life companion? There are reasons for your relationship successes and failures. But with proper knowledge of how to optimize a relationship, any couple can create great happiness together if they share the same goals.
As part of this educational process, take a look at your own mood each moment of each day. Do you carry feelings of fear, frustration, lack, boredom or depression? If so, then you are likely bringing these negative feelings into your relationship.
Remember that you attract into your relationship the very ways of being that you incorporate into your life. Imagine for a moment that you are feeling great about your life, but what you think you deserve most is the kind of companion that makes your life happy. Pretend that as of right now, your chosen life companion and you are the only two people in the world. Isn’t there a way for the two of you to become pleasantly in love, despite your many differences? Put another way, can you make any relationship work?
Of course you can. If you focus on the desirable characteristics of your significant other, that focus can lead you into increasing fondness for your companion. Seeking out positive aspects in your companion brings a better future together. Despite acknowledging negative aspects of each other, when you only pay full attention to positive words and behaviors, you can draw more and more of the same positive feedback from your companion and feel happier and happier, receiving what you are creating. Your relationship can fail only if your companion continues to resist your focus on the positive. When that happens, the relationship is doomed.
You can still use this technique even if your partner doesn’t desire the relationship to continue. By focusing on the worthy aspects of your partner, you magnify those positive aspects. With this type of consistent focus, you can then make the relationship better and better.
Remember: Energy flows where attention goes. With that in mind, turn away from negative aspects, only concentrate on the characteristics you wish to retain.
The attitude that in relationships there is a right and wrong way to do things and that you both must agree and do things the same way in order to be happy is a flawed belief. In fact, this flawed premise forms the heart of contention and is a common, disruptive element in relationships. It always leads to constant arguments and hurt feelings.
On the other hand, wise couples recognize the value of diversity, and they allow each other enough freedom to experience and learn. Instead of arguing about the right way to do something and nursing negative, hurtful emotions about it, it’s more fulfilling to welcome the different perspective offered by your partner.
To make a relationship work, therefore, do not try to verbally control or reprimand each other. Instead, use words and actions that nurture feelings of love between you, while inviting freedom for each of you to discover the best way to maintain a healthy companionship connection.
You’ll discover more pleasure in your relationships when you peacefully enjoy another’s differences in opinions, methods of living life and beliefs. If you agree to honor each other’s choices, you can create freedom and peace for both of you. You’ll enjoy your differences while focusing on the joy of companionship.